The crazy thing about the human brain is that it needs constant prompting to retain memory. If you avoid math for a couple months and then you sit back down to do a problem, it's twice as difficult as it was previously. You stop calling an old friend, and then you slowly forget why you loved them so much in the first place. First the details dissipate, and then the emotions dull. Eventually a vivid and life-changing experience becomes just another memory, like a dusty forgotten oil painting in the basement closet.
For six months I've been desperately fighting dusty-oil-painting syndrome, and I've actively tried to remember things about my other half while he's on his mission in Brazil. Things like the way his voice sounds when he's concerned, his grin, the wrinkles 'round his eyes, the placement of his freckles; all those romantic little -isms that makes Ben uniquely himself. Why is this relevant? Well on Christmas day I got the best present of all. For a glorious hour, I got to Skype with him and his family. (In his exact words, "I'll be home for Christmas, if only on a screen.")
It was the weirdest thing! Because the moment I saw his (handsome) face, as soon as I heard his voice, it was as familiar as ever. It was like he hadn't even left, because I perfectly remembered everything about him in an instant, and it came like a flood of total affection for him. When he laughed about something his sister said, it was.. I don't even know how to describe it! Perfectly, exactly how it was. I remembered the exact cadence of his laugh. Every little thing about Ben, it all came back to me. It was amazing, truly. It felt completely and totally natural, like getting back in the old swing of things.
I say this because I've learned quite a bit about the nature of God the Father from this experience. As a Latter-day Saint of the Church of Jesus Christ, I know that we lived before this earth as spirits, with Heavenly Father, Heavenly Mother, Jesus Christ, and our other spirit brothers and sisters. When we came to Earth as babies, we were given a veil of forgetfulness so we would forget our pre-earth life. We believe that someday, we will have the veil lifted and we will all be able to remember who we were before, and recognize God for who He really is- our Father.
I feel that if we were to see God today, we would recognize Him. We would remember perfectly all our interactions with Him from our pre-mortal life. Without hesitation, we would embrace Him as we remember every loving moment or time of instruction we had with Him before. We would never want to leave His side as we realized with full understanding how much we really loved and missed this man. Just as I recognized Ben in a heartbeat, we would also recognize our Father. Just as being with Ben was comforting and filled a hole in my heart, so also would a moment with our Father in Heaven comfort us and remind us of who we are. We would remember inside jokes, we would remember hard decisions, and we would remember His guiding hand that had always been present. We would suddenly understand why we experiencing the difficulties of life. We would be filled with a fullness of love and a sense of direction. The current prophet of our church, President Thomas S. Monson gives this truth, "I am certain we left our Father with an overwhelming desire to return to Him, that we might gain the exaltation He planned for us and which we ourselves so much wanted."
But just because we have the veil and do not remember presently our relationship with God the Father, it does not mean that He has forgotten His relationship with us. President Monson continues, "He did not send us here without direction and guidance. Rather, He has given us the tools we need and he will assist us as we seek His help." (Ponder the Path of Thy Feet, Nov. 2014 Ensign) Just as Ben continually sends me letters of encouragement and expresses his love for me each week in email, our Father also sends us messages of hope, love, and peace through the scriptures, inspired leaders, and the Holy Spirit. He will never leave us alone. He will never leave us comfortless. He loves you with a mighty love.
So we see that the Lord has an awesome way of teaching me truth through trial. This mission is honestly the best decision we could have made. I'm grateful for such a guy in my life; he builds me up and offers his complete and honest love. I'm grateful for the Holy Ghost that is able to teach me all of these truths in a way that is much simpler than me explaining it in a blog. I hope everyone could follow all that. God loves us. That's enough, if just for today. :)
The reference to the title can be found here. (v. 41)
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