A White Dress

Sooo blog long time no talk. Life has been busy, and with the copy jobs never ending at OfficeMax and the rest of my time being sucked away through poor planning and sleep, I haven't had much time to write. And I don't know if I have much to say, really.

Last Wednesday I was given the gifts I've been yearning to receive for years. Sufficient preparation, a signed recommend and some sincere prayer brought me to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple that sunny morning. I had my sweet mother on my right side and my heart on my sleeve and everything else in my bag, haha! God bless the women who guided me and made me feel like a princess. I had no idea what I was doing, I had no idea what was going on, and still I felt peace. I attribute a lot of that peace to an answer to prayer, but I think the answer to my prayer came through those beautiful women.

Due to the sacredness of the nature of the temple, I will not disclose much of what happened while I was there. But a few things I will say, starting with this: I was grateful to have my mom and dad with me. I'm grateful for their patience and their willingness to support me. I was grateful to know that my dearest friends have also gone through the temple. I was grateful for an abundance of tiny little things that made the whole day go smoother, because I know those were little I-love-you's from God.  And I was really grateful that I'll have the opportunity to go back, because most of it went over my head! Ha!

I would like to share the best part of my temple experience on Wednesday. I was in a beautiful dressing room, and I put on a white dress. As I looked in the mirror, I saw myself differently than I ever have before. You know when you go to take a selfie, and the lighting is just right and you feel you've gotten your best angle, and you know that you're gonna be posting that baby right on Instagram, no filter needed? This was kind of like that feeling except times one billion. I felt beautiful, but beautiful with added depth. It was a feeling of acceptance, and understanding, and knowledge, and overwhelming love and I have no idea how to describe it. If a blooming rose could be a feeling, this was it. If a bird flying through the blue skies could be a feeling, this was it. It was enough to make me cry on a regular day, except I was too full of joy to cry. I felt completely accepted for who I am. I felt completely confident in my talents. I felt like I had a reason to be here. I felt so beautiful, and I felt whole.


That is what God's love feels like.

It basically blows my mind. I only got a tiny part of what it's like to be an eternal being and heck, if it feels like that I'm sold. For like, ever.

I want everyone in the whole world to have that feeling. So I guess I'll go on a mission.....

;)